Snow!

Today there is snow. It is fairly pitiful and probably only just counts as snow, but it’s snow all the same!

I love the snow! It makes me want to jump out of bed, put layers of clothes on and run around outside! But alas I am a grown up and need to go to work.

I think the snow is beautiful. It causes havoc in the UK because quite frankly, we are just not equipped to deal with it, but I am so happy when we have snow.

All of the untouched white laying across fields and hills is enough to lift my mood!

I wish it snowed more here!

Men – where are you?

When I search for new blogs to follow, I am looking for someone I connect with on an emotional or other type of personal level.

I am still struggling to find this. I spend a lot of time wading through ‘how to’ or ‘look at my business’ blogs.

I am also coming across lots of blogs by women. Whilst they are interesting and insightful, I am particularly interested to read blogs by other men. Not because I think it’s more important or more interesting but because I would like to hear what men have to say in an online space that isn’t dictated to by friends or acquaintances. None of the macho bullshit that you find dominating places like Facebook or Instagram (however I am sure there is some of that here!)

I am currently following the ‘masculinity’ tag. Whilst I have found a few posts that are interesting, I keep coming across pictures of beards… I don’t want to look at beards. To me, having a beard isn’t a fundamental part of masculinity or being a man. I thought I’d find some interesting blogs by men under this tag, but unfortunately this is very rarely the case.

I am looking for guys who blog about real things. About life. About the trials and tribulations of being human. About being sensitive and kind and loving. About being a Dad. About anything other than DIY, football, working out or beards!

I can’t find you! Men – where are you?!

Long days, early nights

I was up today at 6am… earlier than yesterday and it felt just as, if not more, grim!

I was at the station and on a train to London at 7:15am. Today I didn’t see anyone running for a train, which was a disappointment. I nearly fell down when I paid for my train ticket. £60 for a travel card to London. I know it’s peak time but… seriously?!

(You should probably know that I hate London. With a passion. I hate the sheer volume of people, particularly at rush hour. It is a little bit like walking amongst a sea of zombies with headphones in. Heads down, everyone in their own world, marching or meandering in unison. It’s just not my kind of place)

I spent all day at a conference whilst also trying to manage a pretty much non existent staff team as four of them were off sick. There are six staff in total who should have been working today (including me). Trying to run a youth organisation when nearly all of your staff are off sick and you are not even remotely near the office is a challenge. Actually that is putting it mildly. It was a bloody nightmare!

I am now home. It is 9:40pm and I am in bed. It’s a Friday night and when the rest of the world seem to be out partying I am snuggled up preparing to watch Friends. What a very sad life I lead.

My job requires me at times to work long days, travel and be at the end of the phone for emergencies. All of this is manageable but today has tested my patience. 13 hour days like this are pretty heavy going and I am shattered.

And so I am going to get cosy, load up some Friends and try to let the events of the day just wash over me.

I would say I’m looking forward to the weekend but I’m working tomorrow so… I will look forward to 1pm tomorrow instead.

Early morning

This morning I was up at 6:20am. I am rarely up at that time, as a rule my job doesn’t require me to be there until 9-10am.

But there are the rare occasions, today and tomorrow being two of those, where I feel like I’m up at the crack of dawn to travel to deliver training or go to conferences.

However, being up at this time and travelling comes with its joys.

I counted at least 10 people in the space of a minute sprinting for a train. Sad for them but entertaining to watch!

I am now sitting with a very nice but ridiculously overpriced cup of coffee on a half full train (a rarity at this time I would imagine!)

The train journey is through some very beautiful countryside and I am watching the sun rise in the sky, casting shadows on the fields. It reminds me of how nature is a large part of how I stabilise myself when things feel rocky (the timing could not be better!)

So, I am going to sit here, continue to drink my overpriced coffee and stare out of the window at the green.

Enjoy whatever you are doing today and if you have the chance to just stop and stare at nature, do it. Take a moment to stabilise yourself and regroup. You never know, it might help your day go by that little bit better!

Language is power

“Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic…” –Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone

I have thought for a long time now that one of the most powerful forms of communication is language. We can evoke such powerful emotions just from the words that are spoken. Whether that is joy, fear, happiness, sadness, anger or calm, words can be, and usually are, the catalyst for emotion.

Words have meaning, language is important and we communicate, act and react through what is said.

The power of language is dependant on the person using it. Take Donald Trump for example and look at the language he uses. A recent example being the interview with Piers Morgan. He has stated that he apologises for the retweet of the Britain First video. Listen to the language he is using. On the face of it, it seems like an apology, but listen a little further to the way the apology is constructed, ‘I would certainly apologise if you would like me to’.

‘…if you would like me to’

This is not an apology, this is not an admission of wrongdoing and this is not showing an understanding of what the problem is. What he is saying is ‘I don’t believe I have anything to apologise for, I am not in the wrong and so I will apologise because you are telling me I should’.

And thus, for the unwitting person, the power is shifted back and he regains his authority. A perfect example of how language can be powerful and provide opportunity for avoidance or manipulation.

People, particularly powerful people, may deliberately construct their choice of and delivery of words in a certain way, and so we are left with a minefield of powerful language, and left wondering how that power is balanced. Is it for our good? Is it self serving? Is it avoidance? Is it to create positive relationships? We can only truly know if we really listen to what is being said.

For me, on the most part, I use my power of language for good. Whether that is in my job, in my relationships, in my communication with the world right here in this blog.

I do feel that words can truly be the most ‘inexhaustible source of magic’, as long as you use them wisely and challenge those who are using their power of language to harm, minimise, avoid or incite fear.

Finding blogs – How and where?!

I have been blogging now for a little over a week since the introduction of my new iPad (I’m still working out how to use it, to the despair of my partner!)

Part of blogging was to have the opportunity to connect with other likeminded people. This is proving to be a challenge (and not because I don’t know how to use the search function!)

The thing is, I am feeling a bit stuck… where do you start with finding those who aren’t blogging about makeup or advertising their business?

I want to connect with and a find a community of people who talk about life. The daily occurrences that make you laugh or cry or wonder. Those little things we notice and the experiences which make us human. The trials and tribulations of just being a person.

Can anyone point me in the right direction or give some advice on finding these types of blogs?

Walking on eggshells… even anonymously

When I first had the idea to start a blog it was with the intention to be able to write freely. To say the things that I can’t usually say and to get out my messy ball of thoughts into a place that may well be constructive.

When I say I want say things I can’t usually say, I don’t mean horrific, offensive, derogatory things. I mean the things where I know that someone, somewhere is going to take some kind of offence because, let’s be honest, there isn’t a lot that can be said without someone getting upset about the word or phrasing or context of a thought, idea or debate.

What is frustrating me about the process of blog writing at the moment is that I continue to second guess myself and question if what I am saying is ‘politically correct’. The thing is, I know, ultimately, I’m not an asshole and certainly would never mean to cause offence. However, you don’t know me, and what’s to say that some of the thoughts or feelings or ideas I have about particular topics aren’t going to frustrate, upset or offend you?

Unfortunately, for me, I am surrounded in my workplace primarily by people who feel they need to be ‘right on’ all the time, I guess they would come under the title of ‘social justice warriors’. Whilst I completely and wholeheartedly agree that discrimination, prejudice, phobias and isms should be challenged, there is a time where difference of opinion can be productive and healthy. By not opening up some of these conversations and just saying ‘we have to accept X because that’s what this person says’ can limit productive and interesting conversation or debate depending on what we are talking about.

There are things which are not up for debate or challenge (in my humble opinion), such as things that are not a choice for people. For example (this list is by no means the whole list!):

• Being LGBT
• Being a BME/BAME person
• Having a disability
• Being a woman/man

However, the choice to be a vegan, the choice to follow a religion, the choice to follow a particular political party are examples of things I see as open to challenge or debate. Let me be clear, challenge or debate isn’t for the intention to hurt or upset someone, but rather acknowledge that there are different perspectives or beliefs, and that is okay.

So why is this relevant to my posts? Well, I seem to have it subconsciously drilled into me that any type of slightly dubious phrasing, any small disagreement or debate, or use of a word that might upset someone somewhere in the world should be avoided. When I have been writing, I already find myself treading very carefully, and it is infuriating. I don’t want to have to readjust or check myself every time I write a word, or phrase something in a certain way – my idea of this blog was to be as free as possible, to write what’s in my brain.

Walking on eggshells is something I do with my colleagues, day in, day out. I hope that over time, I am able to walk less on eggshells and find a way to negotiate my online presence with the ‘social justice warriors’ that seem to be renting a place in my head!